What Training Do Managers Need to Empower, Not Penalize, Caregivers?

Picture a manager you trust. They care about their team. They want to do the right thing. They are not trying to drain people or push them past their limits. In many ways, they are the kind of manager employees feel lucky to have.

Now imagine that same manager leading someone who is a caregiver. A parent managing therapies and appointments. An adult child coordinating medical care for a loved one. A partner supporting someone through chronic illness.

The caregiver finally finds the courage to ask for flexibility. The manager agrees. They say the right words. They approve a schedule change or a temporary shift in responsibilities. On paper, it looks like support.

But over the next few months, something subtle happens. Stretch assignments stop coming. Visibility drops. The caregiver’s name disappears from conversations about advancement. Their potential is no longer spoken about with the same energy.

No one calls it punishment. No one intends harm. Yet the impact is the same. The caregiver’s career trajectory quietly flattens, not because they lack ability or commitment, but because the people around them have never been trained to support them without shrinking their opportunities.

This is not primarily a policy problem. It is a training problem.

Why Good Intentions Are Not Enough

Many managers truly want to be fair. They want to protect the whole team, maintain performance, and avoid any perception of favoritism. Without training, they fall back on unspoken beliefs that feel safe but end up penalizing caregivers.

Some of those hidden beliefs sound like this:

If I bend too often, people will take advantage.
Commitment shows in visibility, not capability.
To be fair, I have to treat everyone exactly the same.
Asking for help signals weakness, not self-awareness.

These beliefs are rarely stated out loud. They live under the surface, shaping decisions about who gets development, who gets sponsored for advancement, and who is seen as “ready” when a big opportunity appears.

If training does not surface and challenge these assumptions, even excellent managers will unintentionally default to responses that harm caregivers. That is why training for managers needs to begin with awareness, not just procedures.

The Four Pillars of Effective Manager Training

To build managers who empower caregivers rather than penalize them, training should be comprehensive and practical. A single awareness session is not enough. Instead, think of manager training as anchored in four key pillars.

1. Mindset and Bias Awareness

Managers need space to reflect honestly on their assumptions. Training should invite them to examine how they currently interpret “commitment,” what they believe about flexibility, and how they react when someone discloses a caregiving role.

Using real scenarios can be powerful. For example, exploring cases where a caregiver turns down an opportunity and asking what stories managers might tell themselves about that choice. Are they assuming disinterest, or recognizing that the timing, not the ambition, is the issue?

The goal is not to shame anyone. It is to help managers see caregiving as one dimension of human capacity, not a sign that someone is less serious about their career.

2. Conversation Skills and Language

Even when managers want to be supportive, they often do not know what to say. They fear overstepping or making promises they cannot keep. As a result, they sometimes respond with silence, awkwardness, or quick reassurances that do not address the real concern.

Training should offer concrete language and practice. Managers can learn phrases that validate, invite dialogue, and co-create solutions. For example:

“Thank you for sharing that with me. Let us talk about what flexibility might look like and how we can still support your goals.”
“Your ability to manage your deliverables while handling so much at home is a form of leadership under pressure. I want us to protect both your wellbeing and your development here.”
“Instead of feeling forced to choose between your caregiving and your work, let us design a plan that makes room for both.”

Practicing these statements aloud in role plays helps managers build confidence. The more familiar the language becomes, the more likely they are to respond with steadiness rather than avoidance in real conversations.

3. Decision Frameworks

One of the biggest fears managers have is that flexibility will become arbitrary. They worry about where to draw the line and how to stay consistent. Without a framework, they either say “yes” in ways that are unsustainable or default to “no” because that feels safer.

Training should provide decision tools they can use, such as simple matrices or flowcharts that guide them through questions like:

What is the core outcome that must be preserved?
Which aspects of the role are flexible, and which are fixed?
What is the time frame for this adjustment?
What impact might this have on other team members, and how can we address it openly?

Scenario-based learning is invaluable here. Managers can walk through real-life examples of capacity shifting mid-quarter or deadlines colliding with caregiving responsibilities. They can practice considering options and weighing tradeoffs.

With a framework, flexibility stops feeling like improvisation and starts feeling like structured problem solving.

4. Sustainability and Resilience

Managers themselves are under strain. Many are navigating their own caregiving, burnout, or workload pressures. Asking them to support caregivers without addressing their own sustainability is not realistic.

Training should include content on boundaries, delegation, and peer support. Managers need tools to avoid taking on everyone’s stress as their own. They also benefit from learning how to build networks with other managers, where they can share strategies and troubleshoot situations together.

When managers feel supported and equipped, they are more likely to offer thoughtful, consistent support to caregivers on their teams.

Designing a Training Journey, Not a One-Time Event

Effective manager development is not a single workshop. It is a journey. A sample structure might look like this:

Start with a foundation module on mindset and bias, so managers can reflect on their current beliefs and experiences.
Follow with an interactive workshop that uses role plays, dialogues, and simulations to build confidence in real caregiving conversations.
Offer a session focused on frameworks and tools, where managers apply decision-making structures to real or realistic cases from their teams.
Create coaching or reflection circles, where managers can return with questions, share what they tried, and learn from each other’s experiences.
Reinforce the learning with quarterly refreshers, quick guides, and feedback loops that track what is working and where more support is needed.

Throughout, grounding the content in a clear model, such as the CARE Framework of Culture, Awareness, Resources, and Empowerment, helps managers see how their work fits into a larger strategy.

Practicing the Language That Changes Outcomes

Language shapes culture. Training should give managers multiple chances to practice the kinds of phrases that help caregivers feel respected, not sidelined. For example:

“I appreciate your honesty. Let us look together at what can be adjusted and what needs to stay in place so you are set up to succeed.”
“I do not want flexibility to come at the cost of your future options here. Let us talk about how to keep you visible and growing while this season is intense.”
“If there is a point where this plan no longer works for you or the team, I want you to tell me early so we can reassess together.”

These statements send a powerful message. They say, “You are still someone we invest in,” rather than “You have become a problem to manage.”

Measuring Whether Training Is Working

Training should be evaluated by impact, not just attendance. Some ways to measure effectiveness include:

Shifts in manager confidence levels before and after the training.
Increases in manager-led care conversations and documented flexibility plans.
Greater use of caregiver-friendly policies in ways that are consistent and transparent.
Reductions in the number of caregivers who quietly step back from promotions or leave the organization.
Feedback from employees about whether they feel safe asking for support.

When managers feel more capable and caregivers feel more supported, you will see the results across the organization. Disruptions are handled more smoothly. Performance reviews incorporate real context instead of assumptions. Leadership pipelines no longer lose talented caregivers at key transition points.

The Connective Tissue Between Policy, Culture, and Performance

Policies alone do not create a culture of care. That happens in the space between manager and employee, in the everyday moments where decisions are made and conversations unfold.

Manager training is the connective tissue between what you say you value and what people actually experience. It is how you turn caregiving awareness into concrete support that protects both people and performance.

If you are committed to building managers who empower caregivers rather than penalize them, I invite you to stay connected. Subscribe to the newsletter for more tools, language, and frameworks you can use to equip your leaders and strengthen your culture.

Together, let’s build a workplace that CARES!

• Dr. Anna Thomas

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*Bio: Dr. Anna Thomas is a board-certified physician, TEDx speaker, workplace wellbeing strategist, and leadership coach who helps organizations strengthen culture, resilience, and performance in a changing world. As founder of LifeCare LeadHership and Workplaces That Care, she blends clinical insight with leadership development to teach practical tools for building supportive, care-ready workplaces. Her keynotes and trainings address workforce wellbeing, retention, burnout prevention, caregiving in the workplace, women’s leadership, and navigating life and work transitions. As the creator of the CARE Framework, she equips leaders to support the whole person so teams stay engaged, healthy, and committed. Audiences appreciate her grounded delivery, relatable stories, and clear, actionable strategies. Learn more or book Dr. Thomas at www.WorkplaceWellbeingSpeaker.com

The views and opinions expressed in this post are solely those of Dr. Thomas and do not reflect the views of any past or present employer. This content is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or legal advice.*